Petra Arnež Mohorič:
Grief in the Workplace

At the ADMA Congress, I will be speaking about a topic that is important for every organization and every home. I also wrote an article on this subject, which was published in the professional subscription-based ADMA magazine. You can find more information about the magazine here. 

Death is part of the journey we call life. It begins with birth and ends with death. In principle, a significant part of this journey is also spent at the workplace. Life is like a box of surprises, which is why we never know when—or what—awaits us. Human beings are social by nature; we usually live within communities, and death, too, is part of that community. I sometimes like to joke that death visits us many times in life, not only when it is finally our turn.  

I see a person as a whole and do not divide them into a “professional self” and a “private self” known only to family and close friends. Every weekday morning, a person goes to work as a whole. When a loved one dies, grief cannot simply be switched off at the office door—especially in a place where we spend such a large part of our active day. When we grieve, we grieve in the workplace as well.

Grief Must Be an Open Topic

Death is usually a difficult subject, one most people prefer not to talk about. It often feels far away, especially when we are young. The workplace is a space for doing, creating, researching, and collaborating. In such a productive environment, there is often little willingness to reflect on endings and little time for stillness. As a result, this topic remains closed in most organisations.

“The only way to allow death to be discussed openly and lightly, in any context, is to prepare for it properly.”

For many years, I worked in a large international corporation as Head of Internal Communication, responsible for everything that helped employees feel satisfied and part of a business family. When death entered our workplace, we followed a dry, formal protocol. It did not happen often, and somehow there never seemed to be enough time to deal with sad topics. We preferred to focus on events and initiatives that brought joy to our employees.

According to our protocol, we sent a condolence card to the employee’s family on behalf of the company, colleagues attended the funeral, and flowers were sent. In some cases, we placed a condolence book at reception, where employees could write farewell messages, accompanied by a photo of the deceased and a candle. Even then, this felt like more than mere formality. Yet today, as I work closely with loss and grief, I know how welcome it is—and how necessary—to approach these topics more holistically in the workplace.

Death Is a Topic We Must Be Prepared For

Can you imagine how differently things might feel if we were prepared for death? I illustrate this with a personal story about our family dog, Lady. About a year before she passed away, I sensed that her time was slowly coming to an end. She showed no serious signs of illness—only small indications of age—but my intuition grew stronger each day, and I could not ignore it. Instead of resisting the thought, I allowed myself to acknowledge it and began considering how my family and I could prepare.

I first opened this topic at home. Everyone was angry with me at the beginning—as if talking about death would somehow summon it—but I persisted. Gradually, our conversations began to revolve around this reality. I asked what we might regret if Lady were suddenly no longer with us. Almost overnight, we all started spending more time with her, giving her more attention and affection. We talked openly about our views on euthanasia and discussed what we would do with her body when she left us. We prepared for everything—and when the day finally came (she was 13 years old), we were ready. Within a year of those preparations, Lady passed away. The farewell, though heavy, was beautiful, and the grieving felt lighter. Just one month later, we were able to welcome a new member into our family—our dog Ruby. I believe in living in the present moment, rather than holding onto the past or longing for the future.   

What if our one-year-old dog Ruby were suddenly hit by a car, leaving us no time to prepare? In a way, we already have prepared—because of what we learned with Lady. I notice this every day: we give Ruby more love, include her more fully in our daily rhythm, and live as though every day with her might be the last. Of course, it would hurt if she were to leave us suddenly, and of course we would grieve—but it would feel lighter, because we live consciously and fully in the present.    

The same applies in the workplace. If we talk about death and prepare for it, things will be easier. Employees will feel supported and will recognise that grief has a place in the workplace, not only at home.

In the Hardest Moments, We Need to Feel Supported

We feel truly supported in our most difficult moments when we are heard, when we receive genuine comfort, when someone takes time for us, helps us when we ask for help, offers a sincere hug, or gives us something we cannot give ourselves at that time.

In this description, I have included all five love languages. They can serve as powerful tools to help employees grieve more easily at work. Because we are all different, we also experience support differently. Below are various ways colleagues can offer support to those who are grieving.  

1. Quality Time

Those whose primary love language is quality time will deeply appreciate your presence during difficult moments. If an employee returns to work after a significant loss, agree as a team on how to spend time with them—being together at the start of the workday, during lunch, or by not rushing off immediately at the end of the day, but staying a little longer to share reflections. Most importantly, give your full attention: put away your phone and other distractions.  

2. Words of affirmation

Words of affirmation are especially meaningful to those who naturally express themselves through words. Grieving employees with this love language will often want to talk—sometimes a lot. Ask whether they wish to talk about their loss and try to sense what kind of encouragement they would value most.

Encouraging words can also be shared through an email, a text message, or a handwritten note left on the employee’s desk upon their return. Grieving people frequently relive moments shared with the person they lost, and they deeply appreciate having space to speak about them. Thank them for trusting you with their feelings.

3. Acts of Service

Employees who value acts of service will be deeply grateful for practical help during grief. It is essential to listen carefully to their wishes about timing and approach—this is not the moment for your own advice or ideas. Simply ask: How can I help you?

During grief, this question is priceless. Remember to take care of yourself as well—only offer help when you have the capacity to follow through. Since a grieving employee cannot fully focus on projects, one of the greatest gifts is temporarily sharing their workload. You may even offer help with tasks at home. If time does not allow and finances make it possible, you might arrange paid support or suggest a team collection.  

“As each of us is different, we also experience support in different ways when we grieve.”

4. Physical Touch

Employees who frequently hug, sit close, or touch your shoulder likely speak the love language of physical touch. If done respectfully, appropriate physical contact will never feel threatening to them—even in a professional environment. On the contrary, during grief it becomes a powerful sign of care. Hugs, sitting nearby, or quietly being present without words allow them to lean on you, physically and emotionally. Those unfamiliar with this love language may believe such expressions are inappropriate at work—but they are not

5. Receiving Gifts

A smaller number of people have receiving gifts as their primary love language. A grieving employee with this preference will deeply appreciate a thoughtful gesture from the team: flowers, a massage voucher to help them relax, or, in larger teams, perhaps financial support for a short restorative break.

Above all, we must not forget that life is whole—it cannot be divided into personal and professional parts. Employees grieve at home and at work. Every gesture of compassion you offer reassures them that they are accepted, supported, and valued as an important part of the wider business family—especially in their most difficult moments.