Every day I ask myself what if it's the last time

I kiss my husband,
hug my daughter,
talk to my son,
hear my mother's voice,
wave to my father,
walk with my brother,
hold my little dog,
smile at my neighbor.

And precisely because of this question, my life is different than it was a few years ago.

I love reading books by successful people, and I often later come across their interviews, where near the end of their lives journalists ask them what they regret from the past. And we hear all sorts of reasons for regret. If they are successful in business, they often regret the time they didn’t give to their loved ones. If they have beautiful family relationships, they regret not dedicating themselves more to their careers. If they were in a long conflict with someone, they regret not finding a way to forgive. If they had a fantastic career and a wonderful family life, they regret not always taking enough time for someone who left their life too soon. People always regret something, because we constantly live in our minds — in the past or in the future — and very rarely in the present moment.

Would anything be different if people knew when their last hour would come?
Would we even enter a marriage if we knew that the person beside us would be with us physically for only nine years?
Would we have children if we knew we would lose them very soon?

It would probably be very different, because we don't want to be sad, we don't want to suffer, we don't like tears, so we prefer not to make a decision if we know in advance that it will hurt. I am grateful that we never know, that life does not tell us. But I have found in my work with clients that everyone, including myself, loves to dwell on the past or the future. I mean, I'm Heal Your Life® coachinja, translation into our beautiful Slovene language, says the mentor of the Heal Your Life programme. This programme was written by Louise Hay, world famous author of self-help books, public motivator and founder of the successful Hay House publishing house, based in California, USA, where I was trained.

When do we humans truly know how to be present? When we start to realize that these moments might be the last ones we have. I have a client whom I accompany on her journey and support as she was forced, after a few years of a wonderful marriage, to begin saying goodbye to the physical relationship with her husband. A serious illness shattered their rich plans for the future, and from that moment on, she began living for every moment that was still given to them.
During this period of farewell, they were deeply anchored in the present. When my client came to my home for coaching sessions, she was acutely aware that all she had was today. Despite the hardship, this is an important lesson for all of us. And I believe that from this lesson, we can all learn a great deal.

Let life be our teacher Let life be our teacher — this beautiful thought encouraged me to explore the topic of death. I believe that real life begins when we learn, at the very beginning of any relationship, to let people come close — but in a way that we coexist as TWO WHOLES TOGETHER - not as two halves completing each other. Only then can we begin to live fully, in the moment, without regrets. Because each of us has come into this life for an experience, and only for a certain time. Some believe that this time is predetermined, others believe it is not. It doesn’t matter — we all face the same reality. There come moments when we must say goodbye. If we are “lucky”, it is someone who is completing a long, beautiful life on Earth. But sometimes we face losses that come far too early for our hearts.

There is, however, another perspective that I explore in my work. I will never forget the interview in which a mother who had to say a physical goodbye to her 13-year-old daughter was asked how she was coping. To everyone’s surprise, she replied: I am incredibly grateful that life gave me the chance to be the mother of such a wonderful person for 13 years — she taught me so much. Some people never have the blessing of becoming a parent at all.
And then there is Steve Jobs, the incredible innovator and co-founder of Apple. He said that only when you look back can you connect the events of your life. He called this iconic insight “connecting the dots”.

What if we, together, could go even higher than Steve Jobs and we could think, even at this very moment, that today is all we have. That we do not want to look backwards, nor do we want to look forwards, but we just want to keep our eyes open and look deep into the eyes of man. To learn how to use words to say something nice to the people we have around us today. To be able to hug someone we want to brighten their day and to brighten our own day, because we have received a hug too. That we know how to listen 100 % when someone gives us their time. To be able to give someone a gift that is just for them and that we have taken the time to choose. To be able to listen to ourselves, to be able to say no to others and yes to ourselves.

After years of exploration and curious discovery of the world, I realise that it is possible to live in such a way that in the end we feel no regrets - no matter when the moment of goodbye comes for me or for the people I love. Thank you for following these words and for giving me your attention. I am extremely grateful to you. If you are also curious, then take a peek into my world at www.petraam.com or visit me at 22 Jarški cesta in Domžale.