How can life after marriage be even better if you prepare for life together sooner?

Petra AM

How I learned about intimate relationships when I was a teenager:

I learned by observing my parents, my relatives, the people around me.
I learned by watching films and reading books
I learned by talking about it with my peers

And you see how you learned about life for two before you entered it.

WHETHER THEY HAVE EVER, TO DATE, LEARNED:

How to release emotions?
How to forgive?
How to say no to others and yes to yourself?
How to listen to yourself and your body?
How to listen to each other?
How to look in the mirror with ease?
How to hug for a long time without talking, without judging, without interrupting?
How to stay whole in a relationship and not turn into half?
How to apologise?
How do you let the person you are in a relationship with know that you value them on a daily basis?

All this and more is the perfect recipe for me to have a peaceful marriage that lasts and that I enjoy.

But first, let me invite you to look together at some of the biggest reasons for divorce:

POOR COMMUNICATION
UNLESS
DIFFERENT UPBRINGING IN THE PRIMARY FAMILY
PSYCHOLOGICAL, PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL ABUSE
DISPOSAL DUE TO CAREER, FINANCIAL SITUATION OR OTHER FACTORS
STRONG PERSONAL GROWTH ONLY IN ONE PERSON, ANOTHER MAY JUDGE OR THROW IT OVER THE SHOULDER

These reasons are usually interlinked, some more pronounced, some less so.

WHY DIVORCE IF THAT WASN'T YOUR INTENTION WHEN YOU MET

And why would you go through what I went through when I got divorced!
No divorce is easy, or any divorce is difficult, and even more so where children are involved.

Why do we always put out fires, why do we not make sure in advance that fires do not happen.

Because I love solutions, I found the right solution for me: PREVENTION!!!

WHAT IS MY DAILY PREVENTION WHEN IT COMES TO MY MARRIAGE:

I will be very clear and brief because I love efficiency and I learned that from the Stoics. Ryan Holiday taught me a lot from his blogs. I also love self-love, and Louise Hay, a global motivator and author of the world's best-selling self-help books, taught me that.

AMOR FATI - I love everything that happens to me
When Gregor and I have a hard time, I always know that it is a learning and growing time for us and when it is hard, it is the next stage to take our relationship to the next level.
The story of what the inventor of the light bulb, Thomas Edison, said when his years of work burned out, is found in here.

MEMENTO MORI - this moment we can die
Not a day goes by when I don't ask myself what I would regret if my husband were no longer in my life in an hour, so that I can more easily break the silence when it comes between us. Mark Aurelius wrote in Meditations: “I could leave this life right now. Let that determine what you do, say and think.” Exactly, I am learning daily to take responsibility for what I say and do in my marriage. You can find out more here.

I FORGIVE - when I forgive, I know it is a gift to myself
When my husband hurts me, forgiveness for me is not about justifying his behaviour or the gestures he has made, but about giving a gift to myself. Forgiveness frees me to live a happier life.

RELEASE EMOTIONS - I want to stay healthy, so I release emotions regularly, because old emotions that I harbour in my body bring illness.
I do it by crying, tears always help me to wash away anger or sadness. But I am learning daily to release emotions with my clients when we do it by punching a pillow.

I AM A WIFE, NOT HIS MUM - Gregor needs a wife by his side, not a mum
Gregor has a mother, and there is only one of her. My husband is a grown man and he certainly doesn't need someone telling him what to wear, what to eat, how to behave... It took me a long time to understand that. I still fall down about it sometimes.
More information can be found in here and here blog.

And finally, I LAUGH WITH JETRI - that is, I laugh from the inside out
They say laughter is half of health, and when you laugh with your liver, health is 100%. Most of my clients answer the question when they will be calm, when they will have achieved their inner peace. here. This is the best prevention when you strive for inner peace every day.

AND WHY do Gregor and I work TOGETHER on prevention every day?
BECAUSE we want to be able to help each other:
when we don't get along,
when we can't hear what each other has to say,
when we are angry, sad,
when we make a mistake,
when we are far away,
when we stop talking,
when our sexual relations are too infrequent,
when we want to orient ourselves, as if we were parents to each other
when we expect to be a perfect couple
when we can't forgive each other,
when we'd like to turn around and go our separate ways

WHAT IF THERE WAS A PROGRAMME THAT COULD TEACH YOU TOGETHER THESE INVALUABLE SKILLS THAT YOU DID NOT HAVE AS CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS.

That would be a wonderful prevention, that's the recipe they are always looking for on INSTAGRAM, TikTok, YouTube... But they usually look for it when they are already putting out the fire.

I was last at an event where we were different people interested in business waters at home and abroad, and I will never forget what one kind student, aged 19, said to me.

Let me confide in you our chat:

Me: “Are you in a relationship”.
He: “I am”.
Me: “Would you come with your partner to my Two Wholes Together programme?”
He: “Depends, if I could find that content online, then no. Because students have the time, but we don't have the money.”

I must admit that I was surprised by his answer, although it was quite realistic and down-to-earth.

And when I got home, I thought about it and very quickly came up with the answer I would give him today.

Fact:

It's one thing to talk about exercise.
It's one thing to start exercising.

Why “working out” in an environment where an expert is present has more impact than doing it alone at home with AI or Uncle Google.

WHEN you are in a safe environment, where someone is there to support you, to stand by you, to hug you, to help you, when tensions start to develop in your communication, when you want to resolve something, because there is a human being on the other side, not a robot.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE, NEVER REALLY TOO LATE, TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Although the title of this blog is: How can life after marriage be even better if you prepare for marriage or life together beforehand?

This does not mean that I am only inviting you who are about to get married.
I also invite you who have been together for many years, because it is never too late to protect yourselves from fire or separation or living as a couple.

ADDED to the 6-part programme: TWO WHOLES TOGETHER - petraAM

IF YOU WANT ADVENTURE AND A 6-PART PROGRAMME TWO WHOLES TOGETHER - petraAM EXPERIENCE IN PERSON WITH ME AT BALI IN 10 DAYS, WHERE I WILL BE WITH YOU A LOT OF THE TIME, YOU ONLY HAVE 10 DAYS LEFT TO REGISTER FOR THE TWO CELOTES TOGETHER IN BALI - petraAM.